What makes you fulfilled? Why do you enjoy the activities you like? How do you know when something fulfills you? Are you fulfilled in your relationships? Who are your friends? How many friends do you have? How do you define a friend?
Throughout my years of high school and university, my social media feeds were filled with people sharing their experiences of the party scene. Whether it be a club, house party, or thousands of students on the street, it would be impossible to go a few days on social media without some sort of party. It is too grand of a generalization to suggest every teenager and young adult enjoys this scene, but those active on social media will see that their peers actively engage in the party scene.
Social media depicts partying as the ideal social event for teens and young adults. Whether it's the 'cool kids' or celebrities and influencers, numerous social media accounts portray partying in their free time and on weekends. There are accounts dedicated to posting partying content which have thousands, and oftentimes millions of followers. The idea of getting their picture of video posted on one of these accounts is enticing to many people.
Well, is the hype merited?
Throughout my years of high school and university, I had my fair share of the party scene. From the infamous Hess St. in Hamilton, to the Montreal nightlife, I've had a lot of great times clubbing. I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy most of my experiences.
However, as time goes on, I've felt less inclined to go out and party. Recently when I've gone out, I find myself thinking, "I'd rather not have to yell over this music just to talk to my friends." The same goes with house parties. While it's an opportunity to expand my social circle, I've never found myself to be inclined to ever reach out to most of the people I've met. This isn't to say I didn't have fun interacting with these people — simply that I'm just left thinking "I'll never see this dude again in my life."
My feelings towards partying has changed drastically since high school. I enjoyed it a lot more prior to the pandemic. I also have a different view of my relationships than when I was a teenager. After growing a lot closer to my friends, hanging out with them is the most enjoyable thing in my life.
So what's the difference?
Hanging out with my friends provides me with a sense of fulfillment. Given the unpredictability of the future and where we all may end up, I want to spend as much time with them as I possibly can. Playing games, going out for food, and simply just talking makes me feel fulfilled. This isn't to say I would not enjoy partying with them, but I'm just left feeling like I'd rather spend quality time with them. When having a few drinks, I prefer a gathering of just my friends than going to a club or house party.
Simply put, I am not fulfilled when going to a club or party. By no means am I introverted, and my friends would tell you I probably talk to too many people at a party.
When given an opportunity, if all my friends are available to hangout, I would choose to simply hangout than go out to a club. Even if everyone was in the mood to have a few drinks, I'd rather it be in someone's basement than a club.
What fulfills you?
This isn't to say I look down on those that enjoy clubbing and partying. Maybe you feel fulfilled from a night out, meeting new people, and reconnecting with people you see infrequently who are also attending the party or club. I sincerely hope this does not come across as me portraying partying in a condescending manner.
The only point I'm trying to convey is to understand what makes you feel fulfilled. For myself, this is spending quality time with those that I love. I can confidently say that I love my friends and want to spend time with them.
Again, if partying is what you makes you feel fulfilled, I'd actually encourage you to indulge in the activity. Just take some time to consider the different things in your life that make you feel fulfilled. Think of why you enjoy doing these things and why it fulfills you. If you feel that you're not fulfilled with some activities you do, try and identify things that will.
I would also like to stress the difference between fulfillment and enjoyment. A personal example I can provide is when I'm gaming. I enjoy playing a game, even by myself. However, it does not provide me with a sense of fulfillment. Although, if I am playing a game with friends, it does provide me with a sense of fulfillment. That time I spend with them discussing either the game, or just playing the game while we talk about life outside of the game, I really do feel fulfilled because I am doing it with my friends. Not everything you enjoy doing will leave you feeling fulfilled. Sometimes, we find ourselves indulging in an activity to give us a false sense of fulfillment which can quickly vanish.
Understand your fulfillment.
Obviously, you do not have to find fulfillment in everything you do. Only a select amount of people enjoy sorting and maintaining garbage and recycling, but it's just something we all must do. When you do have free time, consider indulging in activities that make you feel fulfilled. From my own experience, I am at my best when I am able to do as such.
Perhaps you don't have the luxury of finding fulfillment through other people. It is okay to be fulfilled through being alone. Again, celebrities and 'cool kids' are seen having fun on social media through clubbing and partying. I cannot say one way or the other, but I don't know if these people are genuinely fulfilled.
It is up to you to determine what makes you fulfilled. Whether it's alone, with friends, or strangers, it doesn't really matter. Just be sure to identify what and who in your life makes you fulfilled. It is important to curate this understanding so you can choose how to invest your time.
Just because others might be fulfilled through certain activities, it does not mean you will too. If your fulfillment comes from something that makes you seem nerdy or a loser to others, who cares? If somone perceives you as weird for your hobbies, interests, or fulfillment, it doesn't really matter. More importantly, they don't matter. If I am perceived as a loser for my lack of interest in partying, then I love being a loser.
Understand what brings fulfillment to your life. Embrace these things — especially if it makes you seem weird. You can't bring anything or anyone with you when you die. Enjoy them while you still can to live your best life.
— Rob
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